A large step out
This post will be rather long and rambling and deal with some deep issues.
Over two years. It's been well over two years now since I left the house in which I was, for all intensive purposes, mentally tormented by an atheist. A communist conspiracy theorist atheist who was hell bent on destroying any and all belief, even to the detriment of other people. Stupid, wrong, and, well, inhuman were words I heard quite frequently. Though he and I both paid rent to another person, this atheist and his girlfriend came into my room, violated my space, threw away some things I used in my beliefs, and refused to back down. Though I got my things back, it was not another two months before I got the hell out of that house which had become nothing but gloom, despite living with two other people whom I loved to live with. (There were 5 people in that house.) This is not to say that I was also closed minded, I made many, many attempts to understand his points of view. He made no attempt, and instead riled against any thoughts I had of my own. Paul Poposky, you are an absolute ass worse than the shit you expel out. Knowing you, I know you'll find that comment funny. He liked ass and poop jokes and references for some reason.
After getting out of that, I wanted nothing to do with atheists. Keep in mind that he was the first and only one I knew. If he was what atheism was, I wanted no part of that. In fact, anyone who would dare question my beliefs who claimed to be an atheist, would have gotten screamed out of my subdivision.
Then my best friend told me she had become an atheist. I was more than appalled. I felt betrayed by the person who knew me the most. She, becoming atheist, was like her telling me she was going to become exactly like Paul. It put the largest wedge in our friendship than has ever been there before. I wasn't sure I could stand to be around her, as if she had been contaminated with this disease that turned people into...well, Paul. I'm sure Paul right now is smiling at this.
A few months passed as normal, I'm not sure if I visited because I didn't want to see her or if I just couldn't due to time limitations. Probably the latter mostly actually. But I needed someone to work with me on a house and she was available to help. Somewhere during the first few days, she said she had something interesting to have me listen to. Okay, no problem, this happens quite frequently. I like interesting stuff and she knows what I would find interesting. Somewhere in those next few days (while dealing with the death of my first hard drive which had not been backed up in a year or two - losing half of my picture portfolio and a lot of old college work), she had me listen to this podcast.
It was Point of Inquiry. I had no idea what Point of Inquiry was, but the podcast was definitely interesting. We listened to a few more....and down the line at another house job she helped me on, well we were up to like 6 a day some days.
By this time I had figured/found out that it was a skeptical podcast and that meant Atheists ran it. Not that I came to that conclusion based on the word skeptical, but that she had told me it was run by atheists. Okay. Don't ever want to meet them, but the podcasts are at least cool.
By this time, my friend had started living in a triad with two other...atheists. I've never been so scared to enter a house, ever. Or have conversations with people, but those two? I was adamant on not getting too deep in conversation with them lest they start questioning my beliefs and attacking them upon finding out I wasn't an atheist like them. While I ended up conversing with them, it did not go too deeply. Well, at least they didn't mentally torture me with their conversation. Okay, some athists are okay, not necessarily cool, but not Paul.
Skip to over a year and a half later. I hadn't really done much with listening to more podcasts, but by this time I had picked up a few of her books to read. Richard Dawkins and the like. A book club was coming up and I pretty much figured I could go and see what the book club was like. Hey, I was off at my jobs, why not. Then a few months later, I was headed to Europe for a family vacation, and while I had a ipod-device, it wasn't all that great. I borrowed Chrissy's (now indefinitely) and what was loaded on there? The biggest ton of POI podcasts plus other podcasts (quackwatch and SGU and the like). Oh I knew what I was gonna be listening to on those long train rides between cities!
Back in town, I attended another book club on a book I hadn't read, but oh well, the conversation was good. By this time, I'm starting to figure out that the intellectual conversation may just overpower my now deep fear of atheists. I took some tentative steps, checking out - gasp- other blogs than Chrissy's and the POI website. First one I went to, Skepchick.org. Which is where I found out about Skepticon 2. Okay, cool. I mistakenly thought it was in St. Louis at the time but oh well, not like I could go anyway with work. I also registered and posted a hello post on the POI forums. Cut to a week later, this past Friday. I got off at work at 10am and found out I had the weekend off for once. Rare, but cool. I go to skepchick.com and find Skepticon 2 to be in Springfield. Oh, oh well. I ask Chrissy if she plans to attend and wow, she was. Hm. Weekend off, weekend spent with best friend. At a atheist convention. Imagine that weigh scale going up and down. I bit the bullet and texted her, asking if I could ride along. Of course she said sure - at 1pm. By this time I had already packed cause I had to get to the next job. So I threw everything into my car, went to work, got to her house, and we were off to the convention after that.
Imagine a deep nervousness that keeps on being pushed down by the want for intellectual conversations sure to happen. Imagine being nervous at meeting people you've been listening to not long, but just long enough to feel like you're meeting someone famous. Imagine still being deeply nervous and still quite a bit fearful of the people who were SURE to ask you about your religious beliefs and question you when you still haven't worked out your stand on everything-in-the-known-world-much-less-yourself (see future posts on this) completely yet. You've probably gotten the picture.
Imagine then fitting in better at this convention than fitting in ANYWHERE else ever in your life, even with groups of friends known for years.
So now I must say it clearly to Paul and the other demeaning atheists out there who use mental torture to wear down others. You, sir, do/did NOT help your cause in the slightest. Your strategy did NOT work and scared away someone who COULD have been someone on your side. Now before you think "wait, but it did", technically.... you're still wrong. It would have probably always come to this (just by nature of my friend deciding for herself), and what you did was stopped someone from becoming it for years longer than they probably would have. You did a disservice to your cause and I do not believe anyone should respect what you say given the way you go about proving your points. So instead of protecting Paul's name lest he come back at me in some way, I shall say it now. Paul Poposky, YOU are a DISGRACE TO ATHEISTS and ATHEISM and THEY DO NOT NEED YOU as an advocate.
Over two years. It's been well over two years now since I left the house in which I was, for all intensive purposes, mentally tormented by an atheist. A communist conspiracy theorist atheist who was hell bent on destroying any and all belief, even to the detriment of other people. Stupid, wrong, and, well, inhuman were words I heard quite frequently. Though he and I both paid rent to another person, this atheist and his girlfriend came into my room, violated my space, threw away some things I used in my beliefs, and refused to back down. Though I got my things back, it was not another two months before I got the hell out of that house which had become nothing but gloom, despite living with two other people whom I loved to live with. (There were 5 people in that house.) This is not to say that I was also closed minded, I made many, many attempts to understand his points of view. He made no attempt, and instead riled against any thoughts I had of my own. Paul Poposky, you are an absolute ass worse than the shit you expel out. Knowing you, I know you'll find that comment funny. He liked ass and poop jokes and references for some reason.
After getting out of that, I wanted nothing to do with atheists. Keep in mind that he was the first and only one I knew. If he was what atheism was, I wanted no part of that. In fact, anyone who would dare question my beliefs who claimed to be an atheist, would have gotten screamed out of my subdivision.
Then my best friend told me she had become an atheist. I was more than appalled. I felt betrayed by the person who knew me the most. She, becoming atheist, was like her telling me she was going to become exactly like Paul. It put the largest wedge in our friendship than has ever been there before. I wasn't sure I could stand to be around her, as if she had been contaminated with this disease that turned people into...well, Paul. I'm sure Paul right now is smiling at this.
A few months passed as normal, I'm not sure if I visited because I didn't want to see her or if I just couldn't due to time limitations. Probably the latter mostly actually. But I needed someone to work with me on a house and she was available to help. Somewhere during the first few days, she said she had something interesting to have me listen to. Okay, no problem, this happens quite frequently. I like interesting stuff and she knows what I would find interesting. Somewhere in those next few days (while dealing with the death of my first hard drive which had not been backed up in a year or two - losing half of my picture portfolio and a lot of old college work), she had me listen to this podcast.
It was Point of Inquiry. I had no idea what Point of Inquiry was, but the podcast was definitely interesting. We listened to a few more....and down the line at another house job she helped me on, well we were up to like 6 a day some days.
By this time I had figured/found out that it was a skeptical podcast and that meant Atheists ran it. Not that I came to that conclusion based on the word skeptical, but that she had told me it was run by atheists. Okay. Don't ever want to meet them, but the podcasts are at least cool.
By this time, my friend had started living in a triad with two other...atheists. I've never been so scared to enter a house, ever. Or have conversations with people, but those two? I was adamant on not getting too deep in conversation with them lest they start questioning my beliefs and attacking them upon finding out I wasn't an atheist like them. While I ended up conversing with them, it did not go too deeply. Well, at least they didn't mentally torture me with their conversation. Okay, some athists are okay, not necessarily cool, but not Paul.
Skip to over a year and a half later. I hadn't really done much with listening to more podcasts, but by this time I had picked up a few of her books to read. Richard Dawkins and the like. A book club was coming up and I pretty much figured I could go and see what the book club was like. Hey, I was off at my jobs, why not. Then a few months later, I was headed to Europe for a family vacation, and while I had a ipod-device, it wasn't all that great. I borrowed Chrissy's (now indefinitely) and what was loaded on there? The biggest ton of POI podcasts plus other podcasts (quackwatch and SGU and the like). Oh I knew what I was gonna be listening to on those long train rides between cities!
Back in town, I attended another book club on a book I hadn't read, but oh well, the conversation was good. By this time, I'm starting to figure out that the intellectual conversation may just overpower my now deep fear of atheists. I took some tentative steps, checking out - gasp- other blogs than Chrissy's and the POI website. First one I went to, Skepchick.org. Which is where I found out about Skepticon 2. Okay, cool. I mistakenly thought it was in St. Louis at the time but oh well, not like I could go anyway with work. I also registered and posted a hello post on the POI forums. Cut to a week later, this past Friday. I got off at work at 10am and found out I had the weekend off for once. Rare, but cool. I go to skepchick.com and find Skepticon 2 to be in Springfield. Oh, oh well. I ask Chrissy if she plans to attend and wow, she was. Hm. Weekend off, weekend spent with best friend. At a atheist convention. Imagine that weigh scale going up and down. I bit the bullet and texted her, asking if I could ride along. Of course she said sure - at 1pm. By this time I had already packed cause I had to get to the next job. So I threw everything into my car, went to work, got to her house, and we were off to the convention after that.
Imagine a deep nervousness that keeps on being pushed down by the want for intellectual conversations sure to happen. Imagine being nervous at meeting people you've been listening to not long, but just long enough to feel like you're meeting someone famous. Imagine still being deeply nervous and still quite a bit fearful of the people who were SURE to ask you about your religious beliefs and question you when you still haven't worked out your stand on everything-in-the-known-world-much-less-yourself (see future posts on this) completely yet. You've probably gotten the picture.
Imagine then fitting in better at this convention than fitting in ANYWHERE else ever in your life, even with groups of friends known for years.
So now I must say it clearly to Paul and the other demeaning atheists out there who use mental torture to wear down others. You, sir, do/did NOT help your cause in the slightest. Your strategy did NOT work and scared away someone who COULD have been someone on your side. Now before you think "wait, but it did", technically.... you're still wrong. It would have probably always come to this (just by nature of my friend deciding for herself), and what you did was stopped someone from becoming it for years longer than they probably would have. You did a disservice to your cause and I do not believe anyone should respect what you say given the way you go about proving your points. So instead of protecting Paul's name lest he come back at me in some way, I shall say it now. Paul Poposky, YOU are a DISGRACE TO ATHEISTS and ATHEISM and THEY DO NOT NEED YOU as an advocate.
posted by The Alien at
6:13 PM
7 Comments:
this is called slander and libel
It's only slander if it's spoken, and it's only libel if it's not true.
From: Compact Oxford English Dictionary http://www.askoxford.com
libel
• noun 1 (Law) the publication of a false statement that is damaging to a person’s reputation.
slander
• noun 1 (Law) the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation. 2 a false and malicious spoken statement.
Multiple witnesses on side of the truth of statements, plus records of activities that were done that would be circumstantial evidence of trying to get out of an abusive situation. Therefore this is not slander and libel. It's a warning to others. I may not be an atheist (Still a Spiritualist!) but I'm a better skeptic thanks to other atheists and not the one who hurt me those years ago. Mike, thank you for pointing out the obvious, I very much appreciate your comment.
well I don't really understand what sparked this rant or how anyone can hold such a petty grudge and hold such anger in their heart for something which they percieve to have happened, and happened so long ago... I don't understand it, but I do feel sorry for you. I've grown and moved on well beyond all this and hope someday you might to.
I can only hope you might have the decency not to dirty someone else' name in public any longer and might make a the choice to release your hurt and anger, be magnanymous, and take this very personal and public attack offline. I have a career and work with the public and do not wish to be harmed by old grudges or angry outbursts any longer.
Again, I hold no ill will or bad feelings toward you and wish you nothing but the best in whatever or wherever your own life's journey takes you.
Paul
Hm, gives you an idea of how much hurt you can cause to someone, if they have spent two years getting over it. Of course you've "grown and moved on well beyond all this"...you had nothing to move on about.
This was my release. I'm glad you posted though, I actually was curious as to if you would ever find it. But it isn't coming down, not because I'm wanting to dirty your name, but because it is already dirty and I am airing out the dirty laundry. It needs cleaning. If anything, I would hope my post would help you see the hurt you cause(d) people. You may not bear any feelings of ill will, but you bear no love to people who do not agree with you... and you hurt the people who do. Like peeing in C's stew water? Heard about that. She agreed with you on way more than I did.
It doesn't help that we have proof that you stole my friend's cat...your facebook pics prove it.
There is no high road for you. It may have been 2 years, but 2 years is not a long time. Textbook definition Psychopath, public be warned.
I feel sorry for you, Shelly. Sorry that you could hold such a bitter grudge for so long and still not understand that other people do change. You don't seem to understand the idea that there are other people standing on the other side of any sort of fight and that those other people hurt too. You do not know me now, your anger is based upon perceptions of your past, not anything that is real in the present.
I am not surprised that you would seek to punish me for percieved wrongs, I only feel sorry for you that you still feel so strongly about all this that you couldn't move on and find a more constructive, less venomous way to deal with whatever feelings you have about the past; one which doesn't do potential damage to others who are long past this drama and moving on with their lives.
again, you do not know me.
I am not who I was a year ago, or two years ago or five years ago. I have a good job that is stimulating and fulfilling. I am loved by those close to me and have good relationships with those around me. I am doing important work in many areas which is respected and valued by many. I will soon, very very soon be raising a family of my own. I am a different person with a different life, and I do not want any more of this baggage from the past, other peoples' baggage&drama, in my life anymore.
I will ask once more that you have some decency and remove my name from this post. You can still have your anger, I don't want it. But I do not need this in my life. This thread is searchable on google under my name. For my future and those who now and soon will depend upon me, I don't need this attached to my name. You may chose to punish me for whatever anyway, I have no say in that. I only ask that you be magnanymous and, now that you've had your vent, release... let go.
I only ask that you remove my last name from this post of yours. Regardless of what you chose to do, I wish you only the best of fortune in whatever and wherever your particular life's journey takes you.
Peace be with you
I am aware that people can change, but it is painfully obvious that you have not, after that phone call to the police where you denied ever having the cat, or a grey cat in general. We know you have it, your facebook pictures are proof including the one which you mention Halloween 2009 and the cat in question right there "getting your tail". I was in J's kitchen that night, the kitchen that the cat should have been in besides C's kitchen, and the cat was not in J's kitchen obviously. Nor obviously was he in C's because C would then rightfully have her cat back.
So. You are asking politely to have your name taken off this blog because you have changed and do not want this baggage of mine attached to your name, yet it still deserves to be there. However, you ask a reasonable request, and considering you were the one who unintentionally outed yourself of having the cat by posting on my blog in the first place, I will concede to your request and will even take off the comments thusfar posted, but under one reasonable condition. I am willing to do the right thing for you, but you must be willing to do the right thing too. Give the cat back. I have no personal requests of you as you have nothing you can give me but C does for good reason. She wants the cat and only the cat, and as far as I am concerned, cat returned then deal is done and I will hold up my part of this bargain immediately.
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